Well, it was fun while it lasted.
I was pretty much seeing her exclusively during this time. I did meet up with a couple of other girls, but of course nothing came of any of them. Meanwhile, the girl was wanting to move things along pretty quickly. She started dropping the "L" word in no time at all, spent quite a bit of time at my flat, and even dropped hints of marriage and starting a family.
I, of course, wasn't quite ready to commit to such things. However, Ukrainian women have a way of getting their hooks into you. Really, it doesn't take much to keep me happy. Keeping the food and the sex flowing freely was having its effect on me, and before long, I started dropping the "L" word back to her (yeah, I know, shame on me).
Apparently, good things come in small doses. Just as quick as it all started, it ended. She started talking less and less, and her visits become much more infrequent. Several small gifts I gave her went pretty much unnoticed, with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates almost registering a sneer on her face on her last visit. Her time at my flat was largely spent talking to friends on the phone and on the computer, only taking breaks for coffee or sex.
After getting into an argument the other night, we went our separate ways. I just informed her tonight that it's over, and I don't feel good about it at all. Dumping someone is not easier than being dumped, even if things were rushing along faster than I liked. Oh well.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
Eccentric Expat vs. The World
As I've mentioned before, Ukraine is one of the prime havens for the marriage agency business. Every year, thousands of men from Western countries flock to Ukraine, looking for one of two things: love, or sex. The city I live in is one of the hotspots for those coming for both, and spring marks the beginning of the migratory season for men who haven't been laid in far too long.
I've named myself the "Eccentric Expat" for a reason; I've always been a bit eccentric, at least in comparison to most of my peers. This doesn't necessarily mean I'm weird, or completely socially inept, or the creepy kind of stalker that gives most women nightmares. I've always been a geek, and yes, sometimes I've been socially awkward, but like most people, I've learned how to adapt to my environment. I never had an actual "girlfriend" in high school, but I did have girls that liked me, and found myself with a decent amount of female attention afterwards.
Seven years of marriage flipped me back out into the dating pool, and again I found myself learning to adjust to my environment. Life as a 20 year old Marine didn't prepare me for life as a 30 something divorcee, but it didn't take me long to find my share of interested females again. As an adult, I've spent maybe a grand total of 3 or 4 years as a single male, as in, not being in a committed relationship. The vast majority of that time has been within the last couple of years. I spent a good stretch of a little over 2 years being celibate by choice. I didn't allow myself to get caught up in any kind of relationship, and didn't want the distraction that a relationship of any kind (sexual or emotional) would bring to accomplishing my goal of moving overseas.
While I've been able to adjust to my environment, I always still view myself as different. However, compared to the caliber of Western men that I've met here in Ukraine in the 2 months that I've been here, I've got absolutely nothing on them when it comes to being "different". It's like every year, the US government secretly rounds up all of the most hideous, socially deficient, abnormal men in the country and dumps them into Ukraine for weeks at a time. I have yet to meet a fellow American here who even approaches the outer limits of what most people consider "normal". I'll update later with some examples.
I've named myself the "Eccentric Expat" for a reason; I've always been a bit eccentric, at least in comparison to most of my peers. This doesn't necessarily mean I'm weird, or completely socially inept, or the creepy kind of stalker that gives most women nightmares. I've always been a geek, and yes, sometimes I've been socially awkward, but like most people, I've learned how to adapt to my environment. I never had an actual "girlfriend" in high school, but I did have girls that liked me, and found myself with a decent amount of female attention afterwards.
Seven years of marriage flipped me back out into the dating pool, and again I found myself learning to adjust to my environment. Life as a 20 year old Marine didn't prepare me for life as a 30 something divorcee, but it didn't take me long to find my share of interested females again. As an adult, I've spent maybe a grand total of 3 or 4 years as a single male, as in, not being in a committed relationship. The vast majority of that time has been within the last couple of years. I spent a good stretch of a little over 2 years being celibate by choice. I didn't allow myself to get caught up in any kind of relationship, and didn't want the distraction that a relationship of any kind (sexual or emotional) would bring to accomplishing my goal of moving overseas.
While I've been able to adjust to my environment, I always still view myself as different. However, compared to the caliber of Western men that I've met here in Ukraine in the 2 months that I've been here, I've got absolutely nothing on them when it comes to being "different". It's like every year, the US government secretly rounds up all of the most hideous, socially deficient, abnormal men in the country and dumps them into Ukraine for weeks at a time. I have yet to meet a fellow American here who even approaches the outer limits of what most people consider "normal". I'll update later with some examples.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
A Quick Note to All Expats
When in Ukraine, it's usually not a good idea to talk loudly on the phone in English when standing outside a supermarket at 9pm. You make yourself an easy target that way. Several days ago, my girlfriend (girl#1) and I met at the supermarket to get some food, and outside was an obvious American, speaking loudly on his phone. He was getting eyeballed by everyone walking by, and that time of the evening is when some of the more shady characters start hitting the street. My girlfriend and I both looked at each other and said simultaneously, "Amerikanski".
Friday, April 12, 2013
The Girl, Part 2
Something I didn't really expect with this girl was any kind of prolonged meeting. I thought she might be a flash in the pan, something that petered out as quickly as it started. That wasn't the case. After the second meeting, we spent more time talking online, and before I knew it, she was coming over to my old Soviet-era flat located in the heart of the city.
What was supposed to be one night turned into four. She stayed over the night, and then neither of us wanted to part aftwards. So she kept staying, until she spent most of the week at my house, venturing home only once during this time to check on her pet rabbits.
Meanwhile, she cooked for me for every meal. For breakfast, she made an omelet. For lunch, open faced sandwiches, with unsliced cheese and cold cuts. For dinner, more traditional Ukrainian food. The first day she was in my apartment, I left for work, and came back to find she had cleaned the place from ceiling to floor, and had dinner cooking for me. This cycle continued for several very enjoyable days.
Finally, on a Saturday afternoon, she went home, leaving my to my own devices again, but with a stocked refrigerator. She hasn't been back over since, due to having extensive dental work done, but she'll be back soon.
What was supposed to be one night turned into four. She stayed over the night, and then neither of us wanted to part aftwards. So she kept staying, until she spent most of the week at my house, venturing home only once during this time to check on her pet rabbits.
Meanwhile, she cooked for me for every meal. For breakfast, she made an omelet. For lunch, open faced sandwiches, with unsliced cheese and cold cuts. For dinner, more traditional Ukrainian food. The first day she was in my apartment, I left for work, and came back to find she had cleaned the place from ceiling to floor, and had dinner cooking for me. This cycle continued for several very enjoyable days.
Finally, on a Saturday afternoon, she went home, leaving my to my own devices again, but with a stocked refrigerator. She hasn't been back over since, due to having extensive dental work done, but she'll be back soon.
Monday, April 8, 2013
The Girl, Part 1
"Я хочу секс"
So flashed the words into my Skype chat window with the girl, someone who I had first hit up on a Russian dating site months before coming here.
"Why me?" I asked.
"Because you please me," she replied, with the words automatically translated through a Skype translator plug-in.
30 mintes later, I was in a taxi on the way to her house, tepidly watching the driver navigate the pot-hole filled roads, often having to dodge massive pot-holes by driving on the shoulder. She didn't live all that far from me, but the trip took longer than I expected, thanks largely to Ukraine's crumbling infrastructure.
I was greeted by her outside of her sister's house, a duplex-style building which was much longer than it was wide. She led me through a gate, through a dirt path up to the front door, and let me inside. The inside of the house was tidy, with tasteful decorations and had obviously been remodeled sometime after the fall of the Soviet Union. We both sat on her couch and chatted away through Google Translate.
I'm sure most people can imagine what happened that night. I don't like to post the sordid details, but let's just say that the night was one that won't soon be forgotten. Usually, I'm not much for sleeping with a woman on the first night that I meet her, but of course, when you've gone through a 2 year period of voluntary chastity, it's hard to turn down such an opportunity.
Having said that, it's not like I hadn't done so either. I've had my share of one night stands, but they were all in the US, and none of the women looked as good as this one did. Her long, black hair with low-hanging bangs reflected the typical Slavic girl haircut. The tight body with a near washboard stomach and just the right amount of curves in the proper places reflected dietary and exercise habits that far exceed those of most American women. None of my previous girlfriends, save one, had anything on her in the looks department.
That first meeting was proceeded by several more weeks of talking online, with our plans to meet a second time foiled by both my long working hours and inclement weather. Finally, two weeks later, we met again. This time, it was different. There was no getting to know each other period before heading upstairs for the inevitable. I arrived to find dinner cooking, the aroma from the pot filling the house with a pleasant smell, and making my stomach yearn for food.
After a few minutes of chatting, dinner was served. A bowl of fresh borscht was placed in front of me, with the girl urging me to drop a healthy amount of sour cream into it. The taste of the dish was incredible, and was a far cry from any borscht I had tasted back in the US.
The rest of the evening, well...again, no need to go into details. The first meeting ended with me taking a cab home later that night. The second ended well into the afternoon of the following day, after having a very restful sleep with the girl cuddled next to me.
So flashed the words into my Skype chat window with the girl, someone who I had first hit up on a Russian dating site months before coming here.
"Why me?" I asked.
"Because you please me," she replied, with the words automatically translated through a Skype translator plug-in.
30 mintes later, I was in a taxi on the way to her house, tepidly watching the driver navigate the pot-hole filled roads, often having to dodge massive pot-holes by driving on the shoulder. She didn't live all that far from me, but the trip took longer than I expected, thanks largely to Ukraine's crumbling infrastructure.
I was greeted by her outside of her sister's house, a duplex-style building which was much longer than it was wide. She led me through a gate, through a dirt path up to the front door, and let me inside. The inside of the house was tidy, with tasteful decorations and had obviously been remodeled sometime after the fall of the Soviet Union. We both sat on her couch and chatted away through Google Translate.
I'm sure most people can imagine what happened that night. I don't like to post the sordid details, but let's just say that the night was one that won't soon be forgotten. Usually, I'm not much for sleeping with a woman on the first night that I meet her, but of course, when you've gone through a 2 year period of voluntary chastity, it's hard to turn down such an opportunity.
Having said that, it's not like I hadn't done so either. I've had my share of one night stands, but they were all in the US, and none of the women looked as good as this one did. Her long, black hair with low-hanging bangs reflected the typical Slavic girl haircut. The tight body with a near washboard stomach and just the right amount of curves in the proper places reflected dietary and exercise habits that far exceed those of most American women. None of my previous girlfriends, save one, had anything on her in the looks department.
That first meeting was proceeded by several more weeks of talking online, with our plans to meet a second time foiled by both my long working hours and inclement weather. Finally, two weeks later, we met again. This time, it was different. There was no getting to know each other period before heading upstairs for the inevitable. I arrived to find dinner cooking, the aroma from the pot filling the house with a pleasant smell, and making my stomach yearn for food.
After a few minutes of chatting, dinner was served. A bowl of fresh borscht was placed in front of me, with the girl urging me to drop a healthy amount of sour cream into it. The taste of the dish was incredible, and was a far cry from any borscht I had tasted back in the US.
The rest of the evening, well...again, no need to go into details. The first meeting ended with me taking a cab home later that night. The second ended well into the afternoon of the following day, after having a very restful sleep with the girl cuddled next to me.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Social Interactions
Out of all of the reasons why a single American male may find his way out to Ukraine, women would definitely be at the top of the list. Really, there are few other viable reasons for an American man to come here. Yes, the cost of living is much cheaper than America, far fewer restrictions on things, etc, but those pros wouldn't outweigh the negatives when women are taken out of the mix.
Ukraine has a ton of problems. Government corruption would be at the top, but it also helps cause or inflate most of the others. There's no clear border between where government ends and organized crime begins. The infrastructure is extremely dated. Old Soviet apartment buildings are crumbling left and right. The roads look like they've been bombed out. Utility outages are frequent. Electronics cost much more than they do in the West. Packs of wild dogs roam the streets. Almost every street at night is pitch black, and walking around by yourself at night is always a scary proposition. There's plenty more that can be added here, but I'm sure you get the point.
Women are Ukraine's biggest attraction. There's an almost endless supply of attractive, available women here. As one can read by almost every article or blog post from an American male on the Internet, a simple walk down the street will result in an almost endless supply of eye candy supplementing the crumbing infrastructure. Clad in fashionable clothes and high-heels, any heterosexual male can't help but appreciate the beauty surrounding him.
I met up with a few women during my first month here. A couple of them were only on the basis of friendship, without any romantic or extra-curricular overtones, but, not all of them. One in particular was pretty aggressive with pursuing me, leading me to meet up with her at her house on a Saturday night not that long ago.
I'm not going to post details, but let's just say that it was a very...interesting night. I think this photo should say enough about it:
It's not every night that a girl dances on her bed while wearing my underwear.
Ukraine has a ton of problems. Government corruption would be at the top, but it also helps cause or inflate most of the others. There's no clear border between where government ends and organized crime begins. The infrastructure is extremely dated. Old Soviet apartment buildings are crumbling left and right. The roads look like they've been bombed out. Utility outages are frequent. Electronics cost much more than they do in the West. Packs of wild dogs roam the streets. Almost every street at night is pitch black, and walking around by yourself at night is always a scary proposition. There's plenty more that can be added here, but I'm sure you get the point.
Women are Ukraine's biggest attraction. There's an almost endless supply of attractive, available women here. As one can read by almost every article or blog post from an American male on the Internet, a simple walk down the street will result in an almost endless supply of eye candy supplementing the crumbing infrastructure. Clad in fashionable clothes and high-heels, any heterosexual male can't help but appreciate the beauty surrounding him.
I met up with a few women during my first month here. A couple of them were only on the basis of friendship, without any romantic or extra-curricular overtones, but, not all of them. One in particular was pretty aggressive with pursuing me, leading me to meet up with her at her house on a Saturday night not that long ago.
I'm not going to post details, but let's just say that it was a very...interesting night. I think this photo should say enough about it:
It's not every night that a girl dances on her bed while wearing my underwear.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Sticking Out
It doesn't take long to figure out which people you encounter are locals and which ones aren't. Ukrainians have a pretty distinctive way of dressing, and their standing in society is easily reflected by how they do so. The lower class men tend to dress in "gopnik" gear, which I had detailed before. Track suits and pointy-tipped dress shoes are all the rage with them. The higher class people tend to like to show off that fact, by walking around with headless phone pieces and dressed in a sports coat. I'd tell you how the middle class dresses, but honestly, there's not much of a middle class here.
The women, on the other hand, all dress the same. In winter weather, they're sporting fur-lined winter coats, and high heels. In fact, it's ALL high heels. I don't think any self-respecting Ukrainian woman would be caught dead wearing any other type of footwear.
Foreigners, though, stick out like a sore thumb. There's really no shortage of foreign men to be encountered in this town. This city is one of the capitals for the online marriage agency business, so naturally this place tends to get a lot of foreign men looking for either love, sex, or some combination of both. And it only takes a second to figure out who isn't from here. For one, if they're not as sharply dressed as the locals, they're also not wearing a track suit. They also tend to walk around looking completely lost, speaking loudly in English (or another language), and almost all of them are north of 40.
I can't say I've fully integrated, although I've been learning the lay of the land a bit better. But I'm sure I still stick out like a sore thumb here.
The women, on the other hand, all dress the same. In winter weather, they're sporting fur-lined winter coats, and high heels. In fact, it's ALL high heels. I don't think any self-respecting Ukrainian woman would be caught dead wearing any other type of footwear.
Foreigners, though, stick out like a sore thumb. There's really no shortage of foreign men to be encountered in this town. This city is one of the capitals for the online marriage agency business, so naturally this place tends to get a lot of foreign men looking for either love, sex, or some combination of both. And it only takes a second to figure out who isn't from here. For one, if they're not as sharply dressed as the locals, they're also not wearing a track suit. They also tend to walk around looking completely lost, speaking loudly in English (or another language), and almost all of them are north of 40.
I can't say I've fully integrated, although I've been learning the lay of the land a bit better. But I'm sure I still stick out like a sore thumb here.
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